fourth-plateau.org

Yay, finnally the answer to ending the war on drugs. Everyone knows, it’s the poor and jobless that uses drugs, right? Sure, of course it is. Well now, we can drug test them and if they fail, they can no longer buy marijuana to make their miserable lives bearable. Great. Good solution to fixing the problems like the drug wars in mexico and terrorism in the middle east and the financial crisis.

Well, there’s always a way to work the system. A fellow member of the DXM community has found just the answer. Since he can no longer buy steaks and filet mingon to trade for gas money and dope, He has found the path to enlightenment with a little bit of enginutiy.

Since his car is now on E, and he has no money. He walked down the Jr. High, and approached the bicycle rack where he found free transportation. Just as you’re thinking, “Classic”, you gotta realize, most drug dealers have their fair share of stolen bikes. No, he didnt trade it for drugs.

He rode down to his local walmart and jacked a bottle of tussin. “Classic 5 finger discount” Well, almost. He needed to think. We all know that junkies aren’t normal unless their jacked up on robo, right? Right.

Once the tussin kicked in, he realized how to beat the man. He walked over to a coke machine, in plain view of the cameras. Knowing big brother’s eye was on him, he proceeded to mimic trouble with the coke machine. He then walked to customer service and made a scene about the machine stealing his $2.50 (that he didnt have in the first place). The kind black lady at the service desk gave him his money so he would carry his poor stinking rear out of the place. He then proceeds to the convience store across the street and buys him some malt liquor. SCORE for the poor man on welfare.

His atrocity did not end here. Since he had liquid smarts in him from the tussin and liquid courage from the booze, he proceeded to hit up all the other public establishments with the same ploy netting him enough money for a 6′er. Well, knowing that malt liquor gives you more bang for your buck, our good buddy decided that he needed some sticky, icky, killa. AKA Pot, to you non-hipsters.

In a pinch, a pinch is all you need.

Seeing how pot would cost him at least $20, he devised an even better classic scheme. He headed over to the high school with his 6′er still cold in his backpack, and approached the first schooler he saw with a bob marley T-Shirt and traded his beers for a pinch of the guy’s finest marijuana.

For those of you just getting in the game. You will learn dealer shopping may get your button popped or your wig split. Only approach people wearing tye-die or bob marley get up. If you are looking for acid, look for Jerry Garcia.

Talk about your all time high of a high. Getting high off the man is the way to go. Everyone on welfare knows what I’m talking about. It’s a good thing we’re going to start drug testing these morons, because without welfare money, how would they ever get their buzz on? Well, our good pal we will refer to as Owls just gave us our first insight. Thanks buddie, for keeping the buzz free and proving the stupid remain stupid.

Tags: drugs, marijuana, robo, welfare drug test

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